By Conny Reichardt
Read Conny’s BRCA1 Story: My Previvor Story
Be Still seems to be a statement that has to be drilled in my head time and time again. So, when my daughter said, “I am going to go get a tattoo, and you should come with and get the Be Still tattoo you have wanted,” I said, “OK!!”
August 28, 2024 marks one year since my preventative double mastectomy with DIEP flap reconstruction. I feel like I have taken Be Still more to heart this year than I have in the past. Some of that time has been forced on me, as DIEP is not a surgery that you just bounce back from. I also think I wanted to slow down and enjoy what I have. I chose to have the surgery so I could spend more time and be more present with family and friends.
The first time I faced being still was when the fertility doctor said that in order to get pregnant, in vitro fertilization was our best bet. That bet paid off in the form of twins! Then getting pregnant with our youngest after having a miscarriage in between the twins and her, living in fear that I would lose this baby also made me Be Still. Not an easy task when you also have five-year-old twins!
A few years later, while on our last ski trip of the season, I fell and broke my leg. I had to wear a brace for eight weeks and be non weight bearing. I didn’t yet know what this season was trying to teach me. Two weeks after the break, my stepdad who helped raise me and who I was close with died unexpectedly. Being forced to be still during grief is hard when you don’t want to sit and have every thought go through your mind.
After many more Be Still moments in my life, I found out that I carry the BRCA1 gene mutation. I wasn’t still; in fact, I really had no idea what to even do with the information, so I just kind of ignored it until I went to the OBGYN for my annual exam. Then, my journey over the last two years with being proactive in prevention began. Don’t get me wrong – I have always been very good at getting annual mammograms and exams, and always lecture my friends that they need to do the same… but what am I supposed to do about a gene mutation?
I started with my hysterectomy, and during that recovery my grandmother – who was one of my biggest cheerleaders and heroes – started to decline in health. She was in the hospital and went home on oxygen (she was a young 91 years old at this point), so I went to spend a few days with her and play cards and even snuck out without the oxygen tank, upon her insistence, to have pedicures. What a sweet time for me to Be Still. A few months later, at the age of 92, she went to dance with Jesus. I was at her house when she passed and went home a day later to be with my husband and daughter until the funeral. Well, they went to the funeral while I was in bed with Covid, followed by three weeks of laryngitis. Be Still.
So, when I decided to have my double mastectomy with DIEP reconstruction, did I remember I would need to be still? Nope! Instead, I thought, “What, 11 hours forced to be still while under anesthesia for the surgery, and another three to four days in the hospital?” Little did I know that this time of stillness was just what I needed.
This last year has been one of healing, physically and mentally. Growth in my relationships, new friendships, some that came about because of me being open and sharing about my BRCA gene mutation and preventative surgeries. But, most of all, remembering to enjoy the moments I have with those that I really wanted to have the surgeries for. Our kids are all growing up: the twins are 21 and my youngest just started her sophomore year in high school. My husband and I are trying to figure out what empty nesting is going to look like very soon. This was one of the most memorable summers I have had with them, as we were able to enjoy a cruise together and the time the kids were able to spend at home was special. Were we perfect? No, but it was different for me as I didn’t want to rush and do everything else. I wanted to Be Still and enjoy every moment I could with them.
Does having these preventative surgeries mean I will never get cancer? No, but it did decrease the chances. Most importantly, I think I have it engrained pretty well now to Be Still. Enjoy the life we are given and those in it.
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Michelle Sandlin, vivir su mejor vida con BRCA 1
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