Por Nate Kolmodin
Me llamo Nate Kolmodin. A mi madre le diagnosticaron cáncer de mama en mayo de 2004.
After recently learning about her journey through breast. cancer, I find it important to share my mother's story, as well as mine. Today, I will discuss how to be helpful when a loved one is sick. If you are interested in my other articles, check out Exercise is Good For Everyone.
Sentirse desamparado es normal, pero no estás solo. El cáncer es increíblemente desalentador y, cuando te enfrentas a él, es importante encontrar personas en tu vida que estén dispuestas a sacrificar mucho tiempo, energía y emociones sólo para asegurarse de que estás a gusto. Necesitas ayuda, y siempre hay amigos, grupos sociales y seres queridos que harán cualquier cosa por ti a la primera de cambio.
Don’t be afraid to reach out. More often than not, people are more than happy to help someone in need, especially those they love.
Don’t be afraid to accept help. Cancer is hard enough, but asking for the help you need can be just as painful.
Don’t feel obligated to do things. If you feel those around you aren’t being considerate of your needs, then consider distancing yourself.
Don’t feel bad about becoming distant from those who aren’t as thoughtful or oblivious to your condition; you need people who will listen to you.
Las personas que ofrecieron ayuda no solicitada son las que más importan. Al vivir acontecimientos traumáticos como éste, descubres a los amigos que más importan. Los que se vuelven distantes pueden tener miedo de sentirse heridos por la posible pérdida de alguien cercano y no ofrecer ayuda. Esto no significa que no quieran ayudarte, sólo tienes que decirles cómo ayudarte.
When my mother was receiving treatment she had a whole cast of characters come together to help her. It was hard for her to speak up and tell anyone what she was feeling and what would make her feel better. Luckily, my mother had, and has, a champion of a husband to help her along the way. My father was at every single one of her doctor’s appointments for 2 years and had to juggle work and two newborn children at the time (my sister and I). We would constantly have Synagogue members, cancer support groups, neighbors, and friends making meals for our family because of how busy my parents were. Finding time to cook a meal for 4 people was hard for my dad. Even the simplest meals were highly appreciated. Unsolicited kindness can change someone’s day. Even the mailman offered to help by walking the mail up to our door (we have a mountainous driveway).
In time, when anybody asked if my mom needed anything, she learned to speak up and let them know: “If you could make us dinner one night this week, that would really help us out.” And don’t be afraid to be specific either. For example, if you have a food allergy, or if you kids are vegetarian, let the person know in advance! It’s really important to listen to the patient, to successfully care for them. You have to work for them, listen to what they need, and do the best you can to help.
P.D. No esperes. Da las gracias a los que más hacen.