inicio de página
  • Foto del escritorSobrevivir al cáncer de mama

Cómo afrontar el sentimiento de culpa del superviviente

Por Kristen Carter

Honor friends who have passed in a special way. Find a peaceful spot in nature, gaze into the distance, and speak with them.

Dear Kristen, As someone living with MBC, it's hard not to go down rabbit holes, especially as we are seeing a lot of our MBC friends passing away. How do you manage survivor's guilt? -Anonymous

Estimado anónimo,

Survivor's guilt is real and we all experience it in different ways. For some it is internalized with the stark reality that cancer can take what is most precious to us: our lives. It’s a sobering reminder each time we are faced with the next line of treatment. We see ourselves in others and try to make sense of what that means not only for the people we’ve lost and their loved ones, but what will that mean for me? My loved ones? My family?

I have lost two friends to breast cancer since being diagnosed four years ago. Both were lovely women doing wonderful things in the world, and gone too soon. My heart was broken both times.

I did what I would want them to do if our roles were reversed: I dedicated myself even more to living my own life to the absolute fullest. I think being alive is such a gift, and that those who pass wish for us to make the most of every moment we are here, through everything we experience.

This brings me to what I think happens to us and our loved ones when we transition from this life.

When I was ten years old, I caught a glimpse of “the other side,” when I almost died touching a neon motel sign: I was a completely different being, asking the other beings in a sort of middle space, “Is it time for me to come back already?” And their clear answer was, “Oops, nope, too soon!” I could see a light place behind them, but they were hustling me back to my body. The sign shattered and I woke up in the grass – alive, but with a memory I’ll never forget.

Regardless of religious or spiritual affiliation, I believe the people who have passed before us are okay, safe, and watching over us. They can be with us in ways they couldn’t have when they were here with us. They are well and they wish us well.

I’ve found that paying homage to the friends we lose to breast cancer can help make sense of the often-intense emotion of survivors’ guilt. Here are some ideas you might try if you’d like to honor your late friends in a special way:

  • Light candles in their honor. I do this in memory of my mom, using a pretty candle holder she used to love.

  • Pray/speak to them on a regular basis.

  • If you keep an altar of any kind for meditation or prayer, add something of theirs or something that represents them, like a photo or personal item.

  • Speak to them in nature.

  • Enjoy their favorite food.

  • Refer to them often in your gratitude journal, if you keep one.

  • Wish them well in their new form/place.

  • Do volunteer work for or make a donation to a cause that mattered to them.

  • Do something loving for their families, particularly around days that might be hard, like their birthdays, the holidays, or the anniversary of their passing.

It is our responsibility to make sure we do what we came here to do, even if we are still figuring out our purpose: Learn, grow, love and experience challenges the great human experience provides us.

I do my best to live this way and to send gratitude and love to the people who pass. That’s how I manage survivor’s guilt.

I’d love to hear how this resonates with you; please write back.

xo Kristen

Entradas recientes

Ver todos

Lunes de meditación:

Canto de los Chakras con Gloria

Lunes a las 10:00 a.m. ET 


Jueves por la noche:

Grupo de Apoyo en Todas las Etapas

Jueves a las 7:00 p.m. ET



Jueves por la noche:

Grupo de apoyo al cáncer de mama metastásico

Primer y tercer jueves

del mes a las 19:00 h ET.



Jueves por la noche:

Grupo de apoyo al cáncer de mama inflamatorio

Segundo jueves

del mes a las 19:00 h ET.


Martes por la noche

Después de un Diagnóstico:

Grupo de Apoyo en Español

2do y Cuarto Martes de cada mes 

19:00 h ET


Club de lectura sobre el cáncer de mama

El primer domingo de cada mes


Mindfulness para el bienestar

23 de febrero 1:30 p.m. ET



16 de febrero, 10:00 a.m. ET


Yoga Restaurativo:

El Jardín secreto

Lunes 19, 18:00 h ET


Qi Gong

27 de febrero, 11:30 a.m. ET



4 de marzo 18:00 h ET


Baño en el bosque

5 de marzo, 18:00 h ET.


Reflexiona y Recarga

Escritura expresiva

11 de marzo, 18:00 h ET.


Estiramientos de yoga para el colgajo DIEP

12 de marzo, 18:00 h ET.


Yoga Fitness con Asistencia en Silla

12 de marzo 11:30 a.m. ET


More events in English


Próximos eventos


Sobrevivir al cáncer de mama te ofrece apoyo, actos y seminarios web sobre el cáncer de mama ¡sin coste alguno para ti! Tanto si quieres adquirir más conocimientos sobre un tema concreto como reunirte con otras supervivientes del cáncer de mama, tenemos algo para todas. 


Nuestra cita permanente de los jueves es para todos los estadios. También organizamos grupos específicos una vez al mes para estadios y subtipos concretos, como el cáncer de mama metastásico, el cáncer de mama inflamatorio, etc. 


El Club de Lectura se reúne el primer domingo de cada mes a las 11 h ET. Puedes unirte todos los meses o elegir el mes en función de tu disponibilidad y del libro que estemos leyendo. 


A través del arte, la escritura y otras modalidades creativas, tenemos el poder de gestionar nuestro estrés, dar sentido a nuestro ahora y relajarnos en momentos de quietud. 


Clases gratuitas, mensuales y en línea de yoga restaurativo, yoga para el cáncer de mama y Zumba. 


Después de un Diagnóstico

pie de página